if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize