Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
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To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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