I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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