you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
