i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
