Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
