Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
