you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
