I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
