My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
