we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
