well most of my day revolves around power hour
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
