Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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