even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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