remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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