She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
