I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i out mim tonsoeep
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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