with your own penis?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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