It's like God shit irony all over that family
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
