adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
