textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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