I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
