Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
