piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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