I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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