I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
someone owes me an orgasm
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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