that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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