put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
did i just pee glitter
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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