I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We named our party play list daddy issues
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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