You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
one might say we're banned from that church
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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