he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
