Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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