did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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