dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
