evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
