I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
