The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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