We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
