i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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