hotel room ftw
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
