is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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