At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
