i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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