I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
