I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
