I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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