I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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