does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
