Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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