It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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