I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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