Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
