Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
