GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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