i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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