I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize