He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
