I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
