Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
