im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
