forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize