My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
