I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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