just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize