He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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