How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
